Start living, stop shopping

I've seen these shoes somewhere before.

I read a lot of blogs but the ones I keep coming back to time and again are those penned by women. There are far more women bloggers out there than men and I'm intrigued by what many of them write about because it's so different than what I put down on paper.

These talented female scribes have a lot to write about but one element unites many of the blogs I've read -- shopping. Women love to shop and there are whole blogs dedicated to just that topic. Shopping, simply put,  gives these women pleasure.

That got me to thinking, when I met my wife Heather she brought more than 200 pairs of shoes to our relationship. Shoe shopping was her drug and she got her fix practically every day. She'd spy a pair of perfect pumps in the store window and be in awe. Bliss.

Edenland is a blog I read often and recently Eden Riley wrote about a pair of cowboy boots she purchased without the knowledge of  her husband. She blamed the purchase on her sisters and he bought it, or actually she bought it!

"They have special powers, make me feel incredibly tough and kickarse," she wrote in her blog (http://www.edenriley.com/2011/08/imma-die-with-my-boots-on.html).

Why Eden felt guilty about buying some kickarse boots surprised me because from what I've read in her blog she doesn't shop a lot. There's a lot more going on in her life than trips to the mall. Read a bit of her stuff and you'll see.

These days Heather doesn't buy shoes very often. A house, three kids, a dog and cat tempers the shoe shopping urge. Well maybe it doesn't temper the urge but it does result in fewer shoe purchases. The person we both worry about is our 13-year-old daughter Rebekah. She loves to shop and would do so every day if she could.

Heather said to her the other day, "Rebekah, would you die if you couldn't have it?" in reference to another article of clothing she couldn't live without.

"What do you mean Mom, of course I wouldn't die," my teenage daughter replied.

"Well then, it's a want not a need," Heather replied.

Sounds simple enough. But try convincing a shopaholic teenager of that simple fact. She rolled her eyes and gave both of us the 'you don't know anything' look.

We all enjoy looking good and even I can admit to the 'rush' when making a purchase of something I really want. Our task now is trying to teach our daughter that there's more to do in life than shop. There are many other things to do that will fulfill you. The mantra, 'shop til you drop' does not exist in this house.

Rebekah does not go without much in this life. What we hope to instill upon her is that in order to feel good about yourself you don't need a new outfit every weekend, there will always be perfect pumps there when you want them. She's a smart girl, she'll figure it out.

Elizabeth Jayne Liu writes Flourish in Progress (http://www.flourishinprogress.com/), a blog chronicling her life for one year outside the mall. She decided on her 30th birthday to start a project to stop all her needless spending and to see what happened to all those hours. Her writing makes me laugh because she's comical and has a unique perspective on the world.

I want my daughter to read this blog to prove to her it can be done. I'm not saying she has to stay away from the mall for a year, that would just be a sick thing to do to a teenager. But there is more in life than shopping. My mantra for my daughter is 'Start living, stop shopping.'

I can only imagine the look I'll get when I tell her that!