Falling for the holidays

A few years ago I stood as one of the few residents in my neighbourhood who DIDN'T put up colourful Christmas lights. I didn't see the need considering how bright my house had become from the glare of the lights from my neighbours' homes on either side of my own.

Then little Bronwyn Who, who was no more than 2, looked up at me last year and asked "Where are our Christmas lights Daddy?"

By the end of the week I had not only purchased my own strands of Christmas lights but I found myself up on my roof giving my best impression of Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation. Well I thought it was my best impression but little did I know then that the best was yet to come.

This past Monday was mild so I decided to suck up some Christmas courage and head to the roof once again. I untangled my lights, made sure each and every bulb would light up and then got the ladder out and headed to the roof.

It was all going so well. In no time I had cleared the eaves of a few remaining leaves and strung up the lights in record time. I stood up admiring my handy work. I was on top of the world! Then things went south.

Picture me sitting at the edge of my roof with my legs dangling down. My feet find the rungs of my ladder and I swing around and take my first step towards earth. Now picture the ladder shaking as the bottom of it loses its footing. One second I'm on a ladder, the next it's crashing to the ground. Gawd did it make a noise. Fortunately I didn't plummet to the driveway at precisely the same time. I was too busy hanging by one arm from my eaves trough. I would probably of hanged there all afternoon if the eave hadn't broken away from the roof causing me to fall.

DOWN...

DOWN...

DOWN I went. And as I fell it never dawned on me that I had a strand of lights caught in my jacket. As each light broke away from the eaves trough it made a CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK sound.

Fortunately my ass broke my fall and I bounced up like I was on a trampoline with a strand of broken Christmas lights in my hand.

My neighbour Bud came running out and shouted, "Are you okay Ian?"

In my best Clark Griswold voice I replied, "Never better Bud, why do you ask?"

He shook his head and told me to call him if I needed help. Looking up I knew I wouldn't need help in the immediate future. What I would need though was a new strand of lights and a couple days recuperation for my bruised ego.

Merry Christmas everyone and for those who enjoy Christmas Vacation as much as I do here's an appropriate clip from the movie.