Start living, stop shopping

I've seen these shoes somewhere before.

I read a lot of blogs but the ones I keep coming back to time and again are those penned by women. There are far more women bloggers out there than men and I'm intrigued by what many of them write about because it's so different than what I put down on paper.

These talented female scribes have a lot to write about but one element unites many of the blogs I've read -- shopping. Women love to shop and there are whole blogs dedicated to just that topic. Shopping, simply put,  gives these women pleasure.

That got me to thinking, when I met my wife Heather she brought more than 200 pairs of shoes to our relationship. Shoe shopping was her drug and she got her fix practically every day. She'd spy a pair of perfect pumps in the store window and be in awe. Bliss.

Edenland is a blog I read often and recently Eden Riley wrote about a pair of cowboy boots she purchased without the knowledge of  her husband. She blamed the purchase on her sisters and he bought it, or actually she bought it!

"They have special powers, make me feel incredibly tough and kickarse," she wrote in her blog (http://www.edenriley.com/2011/08/imma-die-with-my-boots-on.html).

Why Eden felt guilty about buying some kickarse boots surprised me because from what I've read in her blog she doesn't shop a lot. There's a lot more going on in her life than trips to the mall. Read a bit of her stuff and you'll see.

These days Heather doesn't buy shoes very often. A house, three kids, a dog and cat tempers the shoe shopping urge. Well maybe it doesn't temper the urge but it does result in fewer shoe purchases. The person we both worry about is our 13-year-old daughter Rebekah. She loves to shop and would do so every day if she could.

Heather said to her the other day, "Rebekah, would you die if you couldn't have it?" in reference to another article of clothing she couldn't live without.

"What do you mean Mom, of course I wouldn't die," my teenage daughter replied.

"Well then, it's a want not a need," Heather replied.

Sounds simple enough. But try convincing a shopaholic teenager of that simple fact. She rolled her eyes and gave both of us the 'you don't know anything' look.

We all enjoy looking good and even I can admit to the 'rush' when making a purchase of something I really want. Our task now is trying to teach our daughter that there's more to do in life than shop. There are many other things to do that will fulfill you. The mantra, 'shop til you drop' does not exist in this house.

Rebekah does not go without much in this life. What we hope to instill upon her is that in order to feel good about yourself you don't need a new outfit every weekend, there will always be perfect pumps there when you want them. She's a smart girl, she'll figure it out.

Elizabeth Jayne Liu writes Flourish in Progress (http://www.flourishinprogress.com/), a blog chronicling her life for one year outside the mall. She decided on her 30th birthday to start a project to stop all her needless spending and to see what happened to all those hours. Her writing makes me laugh because she's comical and has a unique perspective on the world.

I want my daughter to read this blog to prove to her it can be done. I'm not saying she has to stay away from the mall for a year, that would just be a sick thing to do to a teenager. But there is more in life than shopping. My mantra for my daughter is 'Start living, stop shopping.'

I can only imagine the look I'll get when I tell her that!

Softball memories for them and me

You can't see it very well in this picture but every player on my Woodview softball team
signed this game ball and presented it to me after our final game of the season.  

Last Sunday the Woodview Mite softball team placed fourth in the NASC playoff championships. Despite losing the bronze medal game to Kedron there were a lot of smiling faces on the Woodview bench. The biggest smile though was mine.

This was a stressful year for me. As mentioned in a previous blog (http://imiancmillan.blogspot.com/2011/05/player-to-coach-transition-not-easy.html), for the first time I stepped up to the plate and put on the coach's hat. I'd helped out the coaches in previous years so when Woodview needed a coach this season I volunteered for the job.

I didn't go into the season with a master plan to conquer the softball world, I just wanted to show the kids some fun and teach them a bit about the game. Mites are ages 8 and 9 so you get some kids who've played before and some who have limited or no experience. The 2011 Woodview Mites had quite a few first-year players.

You could say a team comprised of that many players with limited or no experience would be a challenge. But think of it from the players' point of view, they were dealing with a man with no experience as a coach so we were even!

So how did our season turn out? Five wins and we missed the finals in the June tournament. Despite the limited checks in the win department my players came to the ball park each Tuesday and Thursday ready to have fun. I'll never forget one game after we'd beaten Brookside at Connaught Park both teams ran the bases together after shaking hands. Woodview was thrilled with the win but more importantly they were being kids and just having fun.

One would expect my team wouldn't have had a chance of making it very far in the playoffs given our limited success during the regular season. The Monday practises paid off and we made it to a medal game. Yah, we lost but given our record everyone was thrilled to be playing on the final day of the season.

After the game the players presented me with a ball they'd all signed. It was unexpected but touching. The praise from the kids and some of the parents also came as a surprise. One girl told me I was the best coach she'd ever had. It's her first year so I've been the only coach she's ever had! To hear it though was sweet and made the hard work worth it.

I know the kids learned a lot this year because I saw first-hand how much they improved. As much as they learned this summer though I think they taught me more about the game than I ever could have taught them.

It was a summer I'll never forget.

It's time people starting looking up

Remember photo radar? It was used in the 1990s as a method to get motorists to slow down on highways and byways throughout Ontario. You'd be speeding along and 'flash' your car's licence plate would be caught on film and your speed recorded. A few weeks later you'd get the ticket.

A lot of people hated photo radar because they didn't like getting busted by a camera. Rather they wanted more cops on the road to issue the tickets. Like it or not though it did slow people down and radio stations across the GTA would always broadcast warnings where these photo radar vans were parked.

Photo radar was eliminated almost as soon as it started. A new government was elected and out went the program.

Fast-forward to 2011 and I believe a similar program could be adopted with more success by any one of the four parties vying for election this fall. But rather than have cameras take pictures of speeding cars they'd be set up to take pictures of texting drivers.

Here's the beauty of my plan though. Tickets would not be issued via snail mail. Instead they'd be sent by email, preferably to the offenders hand-held device. GOTCHA!

I bring this up because twice I've been rear-ended in my car by somebody texting on their cellphones. Last Friday it happened again while I was driving along Steeles Avenue with my family after visiting Black Creek Pioneer Village. We were sitting at a red light and 'bump' the guy driving his Mercedes Benz behind us gave my Chevy Cavalier a little love tap. No damage was done but both of us were somewhat surprised by the accident.

It may be law now that using a hand-held device, be it a cellphone, Blackberry etc, is forbidden while behind the wheel of a car but it doesn't take long to realize a lot of drivers still use them. Everybody these days is looking down at these damn devices whether they're in a car or walking on the sidewalk. It's time we all pay attention to what we're doing and look up.

At the rate people continue to text while behind the wheel it's impossible for the police to enforce this law effectively. Meanwhile the traffic accidents mount. Law or no law the message hasn't gotten through to most of us.

Getting into a traffic accident with someone who is texting sucks. Getting killed by someone who is texting would be such a waste. No message is worth that price.