Kickin' it old school

Try picking up a gas powered lawn mower this way. You can't.

 I'm no Fred Flintstone but there is one thing I do that many consider prehistoric.

I cut my lawn but in doing so I rarely make any noise. How do you do that without making noise, you may be asking yourselves? Well, it's easy once you take the engine out of your lawn mower.

That's right, I own a manual push mower. While others spark up their lawn mowers and get'er done I am content to push mine around the yard. The only power in my lawn mower comes from my upper body. It takes some getting used to each spring but once the muscles are warmed up it's all good.

It's called kickin' it old school.


Back when I bought this prehistoric grass cutter I only had a patch of lawn to worry about. Actually a whipper-snipper could have been used to cut my front yard but I needed something bigger for the backyard.
Well, I've moved since then and my current front and backyard now are significantly larger but I keep pushing and pushing and pushing. It's just something I do. All my neighbours use the gas powered variety of lawn mowers but I've remained faithful to the zero emissions type of grass cutter. David Suzuki would be so proud!

One advantage to using this style of lawn mower is safety. I have a 9-year-old son who is at that stage in life where he wants to help me cut the lawn so having him push this thing around the yard is far safer than a gas powered machine. I remember the look on my own father's face when he first let me use his LawnBoy. He followed me around for quite some time. At the time I felt as if he was cramping my space but now, a father myself, I understand his concerns. A push mower offers the advantage that when you stop pushing it the blade stops rotating. And you cannot cut the lawn while pulling it backwards because the blade only goes forward. Safe, simple and affordable.

Do I wish had another type of lawn mower? Sometimes. If your grass gets too long it can be REALLY tiring pushing your way through it manually. Truth be told it SUCKS. There's nothing worse than feeling like you ran a marathon when all you've done is gone back and forth, back and forth, back and forth to chop your grass down to a manageable level. You're sweating, tired, out of breath and you think, "What the hell am I doing this for? There's a reason why man invented real lawn mowers, it's so we don't have to feel this freaking shitty!"

But then I break free from my reverie and I realize that if there's one thing I'm good at in life, it's suffering. Why do things the easy way when I can do them my way?! Let's face facts, I always get into the longest line at the grocery store, I never get an up front parking space and if there's a traffic jam, chances are I'm in it. Suffice to say, cutting my lawn could be easier but I choose to make it challenging!

Will I ever buy a real lawn mower? Nah. If I ever did I'd never get the chance to answer the kids who come up to me every summer to ask, "Why do you use that type of lawn mower?" And I wouldn't be able answer "because I'm not a lazy slob like your father!" Catches them totally off guard. :)