An indoor Christmas display

I have neighbours who live up my street, very nice people, but they do something every year that drives me nuts. They put up their Christmas tree and all their outdoor Christmas lights on Nov. 1. They still have their Halloween pumpkins sitting on their front step but it's Christmastime everywhere else.

I know I should live and let live, but seeing all that joyful cheeriness on Nov. 1 just makes me angry. For me, the spirit of the holidays should not start until after Remembrance Day. Wait until after American Thanksgiving and then go to town with the Christmas lights.

This year my house is dark. That's right, I'm pulling a Grinch and my youngest daughter is not happy about it. A couple of weeks ago I tested our outdoor lights and all but three of them were either broken or burned out.

"Screw it, I'm not buying any more," I said out loud to nobody but myself because I was inside the garage while my son hammered on his drum set in the house. Yes, we're that family, the Twisted Sister of our neighbourhood!

But what to do? You can't say no to an adorable 9-year-old with the biggest, bluest eyes you've ever seen.

Compromise, that's what I did. I told Bronwyn I would put up indoor lights this year. That way I didn't have to fall off the roof again trying to do my best Chevy Chase routine in Christmas Vacation. For a peak of that clip see the YouTube video above. You can also read about my experience falling off the roof at this link: Click here

So this weekend I'm going to buy some indoor Christmas lights and wrap them around our front windows. I'll be safe and warm putting them up, or at least that's the plan.

I even told Bronwyn I'd string some Christmas lights around her bedroom window. That sealed the deal!

For those of you who brave the cold and who are not afraid of heights, I salute you for putting up your outdoor Christmas lights. You brighten my evening walks.

But inside is where it's at for me this year. Merry Christmas!

Falling for the holidays

A few years ago I stood as one of the few residents in my neighbourhood who DIDN'T put up colourful Christmas lights. I didn't see the need considering how bright my house had become from the glare of the lights from my neighbours' homes on either side of my own.

Then little Bronwyn Who, who was no more than 2, looked up at me last year and asked "Where are our Christmas lights Daddy?"

By the end of the week I had not only purchased my own strands of Christmas lights but I found myself up on my roof giving my best impression of Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation. Well I thought it was my best impression but little did I know then that the best was yet to come.

This past Monday was mild so I decided to suck up some Christmas courage and head to the roof once again. I untangled my lights, made sure each and every bulb would light up and then got the ladder out and headed to the roof.

It was all going so well. In no time I had cleared the eaves of a few remaining leaves and strung up the lights in record time. I stood up admiring my handy work. I was on top of the world! Then things went south.

Picture me sitting at the edge of my roof with my legs dangling down. My feet find the rungs of my ladder and I swing around and take my first step towards earth. Now picture the ladder shaking as the bottom of it loses its footing. One second I'm on a ladder, the next it's crashing to the ground. Gawd did it make a noise. Fortunately I didn't plummet to the driveway at precisely the same time. I was too busy hanging by one arm from my eaves trough. I would probably of hanged there all afternoon if the eave hadn't broken away from the roof causing me to fall.

DOWN...

DOWN...

DOWN I went. And as I fell it never dawned on me that I had a strand of lights caught in my jacket. As each light broke away from the eaves trough it made a CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK sound.

Fortunately my ass broke my fall and I bounced up like I was on a trampoline with a strand of broken Christmas lights in my hand.

My neighbour Bud came running out and shouted, "Are you okay Ian?"

In my best Clark Griswold voice I replied, "Never better Bud, why do you ask?"

He shook his head and told me to call him if I needed help. Looking up I knew I wouldn't need help in the immediate future. What I would need though was a new strand of lights and a couple days recuperation for my bruised ego.

Merry Christmas everyone and for those who enjoy Christmas Vacation as much as I do here's an appropriate clip from the movie.

I drank the crazy Christmas Kool-Aid

It's official, my house is aglow. As I mentioned in my last post, the kids wore me down so I climbed to the rooftop to light up Christmas.

There's just no denying your kids forever. Remember, they're younger than you and have more time to hound you until they get their way.

Simple, yet effective don't you think?

Once I'd strung the outdoor lights along the roof and anchored a spotlight in the front yard I stood back and had to admit it did look better than darkness. It's no Chevy Chase light display but it's a start.


The reaction from the kids was worth it too. They stood there, oohed and aahed. That's far better than  hearing them whine and complain! 

Around the neighbourhood my meager light display dims in comparison to some of the others. There are  homeowners who have their whole front yards filled with Christmas scenes. One display even has Christmas music playing while the reindeer and snowman move in time to the beat of songs like Jingle Bells. Further up on the roof the homeowner has strung lights leading to a star. It must have taken the guy a week to put up all those holiday decorations.

It's impressive the effort some of these crazy people will go to in order to spread a little Christmas cheer! But I have to admit, my kids stop dead in their tracks and admire these displays.

Now that I think about it, maybe these homeowners aren't the crazy ones, maybe it's me? It doesn't matter anymore. I drank the crazy Kool-Aid and have joined in the celebration. Bah, humbug no more.

Do you light up your house for the holidays?

Lighting up the holidays -- finally

I wrote in this space a year ago about my charmed life and how I didn't have to put up my own outdoor Christmas lights to enjoy the holiday season (http://imiancmillan.blogspot.com/2010/12/i-dont-need-my-own-christmas-lights-to.html). I stand by that statement . . . sort of.

Children are like water. The more they pour down on you about something the further you erode. Does that make sense? In my head it does so I hope it does in your head too.

My kids love Christmas lights. They've told me daily how we need to put up some at our house. It doesn't help I have an old strand of lights in the garage I haven't put up in years due to the fact a couple of bulbs burned out.

"Why don't you just get a new bulb and put them up Dad?"

"If you put them up before why can't you put them up now?"

What they really want to say is "Stop being such a cheap prick Dad, get in the spirit and put up some damn Christmas lights."

The other night my son Tavish was out with his Mom when they spotted a house decorated with a beautiful display of lights. Apparently Tav sat there staring at the lights in awe.

"We need to get some lights but Dad won't put them up," he told his Mom who later relayed the story on to me. Then he sighed.

Now I don't know whether Heather added the 'sigh' part just to wear me down but if she did all I have to say is "Well played." I'll go out this weekend and buy some Christmas lights.

The things I do for my kids.

I don't need my own Christmas lights to enjoy the season

I enjoy the Christmas lights around my neighbourhood. While walking the dog I love to stop in front of some of the houses and marvel at the EFFORT some homeowners put into their displays.

Don't expect to see any of those spectacular displays at my house though. It's not that I'm anti-Christmas because I do love the holiday season. I just don't have the time or the enthusiasm to put such elaborate displays of colour all over my house.

My neighbour though, who commutes to and from Toronto each and every work day, has very beautiful white lights up so what's my excuse? I really don't have one. I'm just a fair weather holiday-goer. Guilty as charged.

Every neighbourhood needs somebody like me. Could you imagine all the homes in your neigbbourhood looking like the Griswold family homestead? That just wouldn't be cool. It would also give our Premier Dalton McGuinty a mild stroke as energy usage would spike like nobody's business and he would regret taking his coal fired plants off-line before getting anything else in place to fill our energy needs. Not a very bright idea, I know!

That's not to say there isn't some hope one day I won't be a regular Clark Griswald. My father, who's been retired for a few years now, puts up a beautiful display of lights. They far outshine the lights he used to display when I was 12. What's my 12-year-old daughter supposed to think though at her father's completely dark house? I'm hoping she'll be pre-disposed to grandpa's lights and won't remember my dark display of the holiday spirit.

Inside our house we do not lack for light. Two Christmas trees are alight in colour. I've also got some reindeer display near the front entrance that's all a glitter with twinkle lights. From the outside it may seem like a dark Christmas but inside we're just like most families.

That said, I do like a good light display. Can't wait to walk the dog around the neighbourhood tonight.