Things that go 'boing' in the night

I don't know anyone who enjoys getting woken up at night. No matter what it is that pulls you from your slumber, a crying child, a hungry baby or a cat who demands to be fed at all hours of the night, waking up before the alarm sucks.

In my family it's a safe bet that if anyone was to wake up in the middle of the night it would be Heather, my wife. She cannot string eight hours of sleep together -- EVER. And once she wakes up that's it, she's up. It can be 2:30 in the morning and if Heather's eyes flutter open she just goes downstairs to watch some late night TV. She doesn't even fight it anymore.

These decorative metal trays that my wife Heather made
looked great on the wall. It's too bad they didn't stay there.

During all these early morning hours Heather has developed a few hobbies to pass the time. The other day she spray painted some metal trays to mount on our bedroom wall. She got the idea from one of the blogs she follows. The finished trays decorated a previously bare wall behind our bed.

When I saw the new home made artwork I was both pleased and surprised. I was pleased at the appearance of Heather's craft and surprised that the trays were actually on the wall. Heather never hangs anything on our walls. Those tasks are left to me.

A few hours later I had all but forgotten about Heather's crafts when I climbed into bed. I was exhausted so it took all of a few minutes for me to fall fast asleep. A few hours went by when all of a sudden I was jolted from a deep sleep.

"Boing!"

It sounded like somebody from the Gong Show had rang the gong right over top of my head.

I shot straight up in bed, dazed and confused. My heart was racing so fast in my chest I thought, "This is it, this is the big one." I was terrified.

Under the bed the tray vibrated like a drum cymbal shattering the silence of the night.

To my surprise Heather was not even remotely startled by the nighttime interruption. Her muted interest in my terror was confusing because I was freaking out due to the fact that I'd forgotten about the crafts she had hung above our bed. All she did was grunt and roll over.

When the cymbal sound finally stopped I remained upright wondering what the hell was going on and waiting for any subsequent "boings". Meanwhile Heather, who never sleeps more than a few hours a night, was clearly out like a light.

What was going on? Was I losing my mind?

Finally, after what seemed like an hour of waiting for an after shock, I put my head down and eventually fell back asleep. When I awoke a few hours later I still had no idea what had made such a horrible noise until Heather reached under the bed and pulled out one of the trays she'd hung up the day before.

"I guess I didn't attach this to the wall right, " she said.

Ya think?!?

There's a reason why Heather doesn't hang pictures or anything else on our walls. That 'boing' in the middle of the night was it. I swear to God she'll never hang another thing in the house ever again.